Rewrite
by Angelus.m23
Summary: Leonardo has always been taught to learn from his mistakes and move on. But he soon learns that some mistakes are far too terrible to forget. Slowly but surely his loss tears him apart. If there's one thing that he's sure of, it's that it should have been him.
1. Chapter 1

For those of you who don't know, this is sort of a revamp/reupload of another story I started a few years ago and never finished. My writing skills have improved a lot since then and I have a much better idea now of where this is going. Though I'm not too big into the TMNT fandom anymore, this is something that I had high hopes for, and would really like to finish. I hope you all enjoy.

PS–Sorry for the über-vague summary, I don't want to give too much away.

**Warnings:** Blood, violence, character death, language, mature themes and plenty of angst. Don't like, don't read.

**I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles in any way, shape or form.**

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**Prologue**

I had never intended for things to happen this way.

This was only training. It was just practice. _This can't be real._

I thought that. I insisted it over and over again. This _couldn't_ happen. This _can't_ happen. This _didn't_ happen.

More than anything, I still wish that those words were the truth. That it had been me instead. But as a growing pool of red began to form on the cold asphalt, and stain my skin with foreign blood, I knew that it was over. Not for me, though it may as well have been.

I'm sure I must have sat there for hours. Only did I find the strength to stand when both my tears and his blood had dried, and the sun had already begun to rise.

Before that night, I had always found the dawn of a new day to be a thing of beauty and profundity. Now as the sun ascended to its throne in the sky, the sight appeared only as sickly to my tired eyes. Why was the sky so clear? It was stained blood red behind the city's smoggy glaze, but there was not a cloud to be seen. It seemed so unfair. I felt as though even the sky was mocking me.

I returned to the sewer at what was probably around 4:30 am. Burdened with twice my weight, I remember walking home on quivering legs. If there is one thing that I can tell you with certainty, it is this:

**I died that night.**

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I hope you all liked it! I know it's really short, but I assure you, the other chapters won't be. This is just a taste. With luck, chapter one will be up before the summer is over. Please review!


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:** I AM SO SORRY IT'S BEEN LIKE A YEAR OR SOMETHING! QAQ Well, maybe not that long . . . OMG I ACTUALLY HAVE NO IDEA! n I'm also really sorry for the über short chapters! I was going to make this one longer, but I thought since it's been so FREAKING LONG the sooner I update, the better. The next chapter will DEFINITELY be up soon, too. Please R&R!

**WARNINGS FOR THIS CHAPTER:** angst, blood, character death

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Raphael hadn't slept at all that night. Not that he usually slept much at night to begin with. His nocturnal habits suited his family's way of life. It's not like he could go out in the daylight anyway. Those close to him merely assumed that he did what he did because it was easiest that way. In truth, there was far more than simple logic behind his actions.

Every single night at least one of the four brothers would be out and about in the city: training, fighting, and risking lives. As much as Raphael pretended to be strong, he was always worried for his family. Because every night there was a lingering possibility that one of them might not live until morning.

Tonight had been the worst. Nothing could shake the awful feeling in his gut. Multiple times he had considered going out to check on them, making sure that they were all right, and multiple times he had stopped himself. Leo would just get mad at him if he interrupted.

The purpose of tonight had been "special one-on-one training" as suggested by Master Splinter. Leonardo of course jumped immediately at the chance to help educate his younger brother, despite his Master's suggestion to wait until another night. As it happens, Raphael was not the only one with such anxieties.

It wasn't until dawn had long passed that his worries were directly addressed.

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The door to our underground home opened under the weight of my shaking arm with a loud creak. It was not the entrance I had hoped to make. Then again, I don't know what I was hoping for. There was no amount of silence that could break through the cries of the night before.

I stopped in the doorway, unsure of how to take the next steps. Constantly I was wishing, hoping that I could awaken to find that this had all been a dream. It was never supposed to end this way… It was never supposed to end at all. Everything I loved and cared for, my family, was now broken, by my own fault and it could never be put back together. For no matter how much we may wish it to be otherwise, death cannot be reversed.

The first thing I heard was footsteps. Footsteps that over the years I had learned to recognize as those of my Master: of my Father. His voice called out first my name, then another. These were the names of two of his sons. Though both had returned, only one would answer his call. As Master Splinter came into sight, reality came crashing down on me once more, like an anvil in some sort of sick, twisted cartoon. Seeing the smiling relief on his face immediately falter as my Father's eyes met mine… that was something that my heart was never equipped to bear. And just as I collapsed in tears under the weight of my dead brother, another entered the room.

Raphael could only stare in disbelief.


End file.
